Archive for the ‘Work’ Category

On making it through.
September 29, 2009

C: Ok, I understand hating jobs, but if you haven’t worked ANYWHERE for more than 6 months…really??

S: Yeah, 6 months is about the amount of time it takes to hate any job.

C: Yeah, and then stick with it until you can’t take it anymore…like where you are.

S: Haha, yes, and go on antidepressants in the meantime.  It’s a great plan.


On work governments.
September 21, 2009

C: Are you not allowed to take your lunch hour whenever? That’s totally gay.

S: Nope, not when my boss is here.

C: That is like a socialist state.

S: Dictatorship. You forget how liberal I am.

C:  Fine, it’s fascist.

S: Okay, that works.

On becoming fitness co-instructors.
September 15, 2009

C:  I wonder how much we could make?

S: Maybe we could get a gig at your country club. And we’d be funny! That would set us apart! We’d make people laugh while working out, which would make it an even better workout!

C:  That WOULD set us apart.

S:  I always say that laughing is the thing that’s kept my abs trim. I guess I haven’t laughed enough lately.

C:  It would bring the two things that I love together. Comedy…and fitness? OK, one thing that I love.

On winning (losing).
September 14, 2009

C: 58 minutes until I’m outta here...but then I have to go meet with my new money guy. Wa wa waaaaaa.

S: 146 minutes until I’m outta here…but then I have to go to my old apartment, finish moving, and clean. Wa wa waaaa.

C: Oh, yeah…shoot! You win again.

S: I always win, haven’t you learned this?

On gcheating.
September 1, 2009

S: I was sending out resumes when gmail kicked me off, and an hour later it still won’t let me on. What do you think I should make of this?

C: Mine did it to me too…don’t worry!

S: What am I supposed to do? I don’t know how to be at work without gmail!

C: Are you trying to gcheat on me? Because I am no longer on it. It will come back. Something’s wrong with gmail.

S: gcheat?

C: Yeah, when you are in a monogamous chatting relationship, and you “step out.” I was gcheating on you too…it’s okay.

S: Did we ever declare ourselves gchatting exclusive? Should I add this to my FB relationship status?

C: I thought it was just assumed. It’s okay. I was doing the same thing with tons of people…I’m lying. Just with about three others…on a good day.

On LOLing.
September 1, 2009

C: I don’t believe that you literally laugh out loud every time you write LOL.

S: I do!


S: Yes! I sit at my computer and laugh all day! You know how honest I am. Aside from the whole affair thing.

On new joobs.
August 27, 2009

me: Ugh. The first second I put on my glasses and began reading an ad, my head began to hurt. I neeeeeed a newwwwww jooooooob. I would actually prefer that that “job” is pronounced “joob.”

C: So you could make a poem that rhymes with boob?

S: Well, actually, I liked that “new” and “joob” rhymed.

C: No, newb and joob rhyme. Some English major you are.

S: Oh, blah, near-rhyme. ASSONANCE.

C: You’re An ASSonance.

On job searches.
August 24, 2009

S: So how depressing will it be if Borders doesn’t call me for an interview.

C: They might think that you are overqualified…

S: Fuck them, I make the decisions on what I’m qualified for.

On lashing out.
August 19, 2009

S: I’m so mad at my boss just in general that I can’t stop talking to her in bitchy voice. Once you cross that line you can’t go back, apparently. She could ask the most innocent question, and the way I answer it is SO bitchy.

C: Have you ever thought that maybe she is your real mom and you are a teenager? Because that’s how I used to act to my parents.

S: She treats me like a teenager ALL THE TIME. My coworker just commented on that the other day.

C: It would be like, “C, did you have a good day today?” “It was FINE! SHEEZ! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!” So maybe you are just lashing out…”You can’t tell me what to do!!!”

S: She really brings out the latent teenager in me. I roll my eyes at her all the time, and yesterday in response to her comment, I just said “whatever.”

C: You said “whatever”…that is classic teen.

S: I’m SO going to get fired.

C: Nah. My parents never fired me.

S: They would’ve if they were allowed to.

C: You make a valid point. I think my parents did try to fire me…my dad tried to replace me with a new wife, and who knows what my mom was doing.

On sexy jobs.
August 18, 2009

C: Why aren’t stewardesses still like that? It would be awesome if they were pretty and wore attractive outfits.

S: Srsly. Then I’d be one.

C: I would TOO!

S: The opportunity for sexy jobs has really shrunk in 40 years.

C: Stupid political correctness.