Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

On heaven and hell.
August 18, 2009

C: I was going to say maybe in heaven you get to see how everything would have been if you changed one thing, but you don’t believe in heaven.

S: I think that’d be kind of torturous, don’t you? Maybe that’s more like hell. But I also don’t believe in hell. So.

C: Maybe it wouldn’t be…maybe life would have sucked.

S: It’s possible. But doesn’t my life already suck?


On cremation.
August 17, 2009

S: For some reason I’ve been really frantic in the mornings and lunch mellows me out. I think I need to quit coffee!

C: Are you going to get cremated?

S: What! When I die?

C: Yeah, when you die, obviously.

S: Well, what the hell kind of question is that to ask in the middle of a convo?

C: I’m asking everyone.

S: Yes, I want to be cremated. I think burial is a huge waste of resources, and I don’t believe in the literal resurrection of bodies like some Christians do.

C: That’s why I was asking, because I didn’t know that I was supposed to believe in that!!

S: Did you want to be cremated?

C: Well, I didn’t know if we would be waiting in the box and I didn’t want to be eaten by worms…I would rather be buried and waiting in a nice little container. But I didn’t know I was supposed to keep my body going.

S: It’s silly. I want to be sprinkled in the ocean. If God is God, he doesn’t require our bodies to be intact to fucking resurrect us from the dead.

C: Do you think it’s appropriate to say “fucking resurrect”?

On discontinuing therapy.
July 28, 2009

C: I’m excited to hear about what your counselor says about your week’s discoveries.

S: Me too. I think I’m going to quit counseling soon. Mostly ’cause my insurance doesn’t cover a full year.

C: What are you going to do!?!

S: But also ’cause I’m HEALED! Almost.

C: Oh. You’re healed!

S: I’m healed!

C: I feel like we are internetevangelists.

On the importance of names.
July 15, 2009

C: We have a theory that she is different because of her name.

S: Her name is my mom’s middle name.

C: Is she crazy too?

S: Only if you consider Baptists crazy.