Archive for the ‘Money’ Category

On…prostitution?
August 6, 2009

C: Gosh, I’m poor, aren’t I?

S: Don’t you have a trust fund?

C: Scratch out poor, replace with cheapskate? Yeah, but I’m saving that shiz for retirement.

S: Yeah, then you’re not poor at all.

C: Yeah huh.

S: C’s retirement money: lots. S’s retirement money: $0. NOT POOR.

C: C’s retirement money: sad and pathetic because of the economic downturn/the investment she made into her f-ing living accommodations. S’s: shiiiizzzz, you got a husband. He’s saving for you.

S: For now.

C: That body has got to be good for something, S. You’ll get someone else to save.

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On saving for retirement.
August 4, 2009

S: I’m trying to decide if I should do a 401(k). Do you?

C: You should definitely do it. It’s not taxed, and it’s the greatest way to save money.

S: Yeah, but I can’t touch it ’til I’m 55. So basically I have to be okay with saving money that I can’t have for a long time.

C: Yeah, but don’t you want to?? You will be able to have a bad ass retirement. I would do it.

S: I’m pretty sure I’m not going to live long enough to retire.

C: Um, are you kidding?

S: Nope. I think I’m going to die young. Before I have babies, even.

C: Alright, listen to me: at least pretend to save so that they don’t take a picture of you and say, “it would only cost a $1 to feed this senior citizen.”

S: But if I’m gonna die young, I want to spend all the money I can while I’m still alive. Fuck waiting until I’m 55.

C: 55 isn’t old.

S: I didn’t say it was!

On being poor and also possibly cheap.
August 4, 2009

C: OK, I ate my peach, but it was disgusting.

S: I can’t believe you ate it! I spit out the first bite. I couldn’t even hold it in my mouth. SO grainy and dry. So then I bit into the rest of them, and they were all like that.

C: Yeah, disgusting. I wanted it to be juicy and great.

S: $5 down the drain. Or trash can, as it were.

C: Is there any way to combat that? I NEED THAT $5!!!

S: I actually thought about going to Albertson’s and asking for my money back. Do you still have your receipt?

C: Probably not. I tend to throw stuff away.

S: Me too. And also asking for $5 from Albertson’s for bad peaches is really sad.

C: That’s not true! That’s what people from the “great generation” would have done. They don’t accept crap.

S: I wonder sometimes if our generation will be considered like that too. Because of this Great Recession.

C: Yeah, no. We still suck.

On falling into the Gap.
July 30, 2009

S: I just got a 30% off coupon for Gap and Banana, and I can use it as many times as I want over the next four days at as many stores as I want!

C: Wow!

S: I’ve had my eye on a denim pencil skirt at Gap but haven’t bought it ’cause it’s a little pricey. 30% off will make a nice dent in that.

C: Definitely.

S: Life is sad when I think Gap is pricey.

C: Awww. I don’t even have enough money to think Gap is pricey.