Archive for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

On making it through.
September 29, 2009

C: Ok, I understand hating jobs, but if you haven’t worked ANYWHERE for more than 6 months…really??

S: Yeah, 6 months is about the amount of time it takes to hate any job.

C: Yeah, and then stick with it until you can’t take it anymore…like where you are.

S: Haha, yes, and go on antidepressants in the meantime.  It’s a great plan.

On making new friends.
September 29, 2009

C: Did I tell you that D called me on Saturday and left a message that was like, “by the way, those people weren’t my friends.”

S: lol. She’s hilarious.

C: I really like her.  She could fit in with us.

S: Yeah, we should hang out with her.

C: This is how S2 and I evaluated you.

S: lol. Awesome. I’m glad I passed the test!

C: Well, before we even knew about you we were like, “we need someone to join our group who is like us – on medication to be happier, attends therapy…” and then God sent us you!

On hope.
August 28, 2009

C: Oh S, maybe you just need to find hope again. That’s the only thing that makes life bearable.

S: That’s true. My hope comes in pill form. And costs me $40/month.

C: My hope keeps getting sucked out.

S: Like someone sucking poison from a snakebite? Except the opposite?

C: No, like the witches in Hocus Pocus sucking all of the youth out of the children.

S: Who are the witches in your life?

C: Life.

S: Whoa. That’s heavy.

On seeing the good.
August 20, 2009

C: What are things that are going right right now?

S: Ummmmm. God. I suck at this. Nothing?

C: Nooo that’s not true. Think. You get to hang out with me. You have a dog. You have tons of friends. You are really getting good at playing the guitar. You have time to write. You started a badass blog that SOMEONE [we don’t know who] is putting on Facebook. Mad Men is going to get better. Your husband wants to work at communicating with you.

S: Those last two are both bad things that you’re spinning around to be pseudo-not-really good things.

C: Well, you know!? I am really working on this! I don’t know what you do with your days that is good! Besides the me stuff, and I can’t justify me making your life not crumbly.

S: Maybe it is just you. Maybe that’s why I was supposed to meet you.

C: Ohh S, that is so sad.

On happiness.
August 12, 2009

S: Is my new Facebook profile pic super hideous? I think it’s funny, but it might be hideous. I didn’t really know my mouth could open that wide.

C: That is one WIIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEEEE mouth.

S: It is a wide mouth. I hope it doesn’t look pornographic.

C: It doesn’t. You look happy!

S: I was ridiculously happy. Even if it was chemically induced.

C: Mine is always chemically induced.

On therapy.
August 10, 2009

C: So I went to my therapist this morning. He had a typed out list of things that have been said or implied by me since I’ve started seeing him. I am DEPRESSO!

S: Interesting. Does he take notes in your sessions?

C: Yep. But he talks so much I don’t see what he’s writing down. I really like him, and I’m sticking with him. But…sometimes I get bored. I feel like I’m in class.

S: Really? But the class is C 101! How could that be boring? I guess you’re not as narcissistic as me.

C: Actually, It’s not about me…it’s how I should re-program my brain to not be so anxious. Which is BORING. It’s like I signed up for a class on the French, and it’s on French Military History instead (true story from my life).

On prettiness.
August 5, 2009

S: (from texts from last night) “(732): please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you’re pretty.” That’s not about me, is it?

C: NO! Wait, are you asking so I ask back and then you say yes? Is that about me?

S: We are SO INSECURE.

C: No, we are GIRLS.

On purchasing sanity.
August 3, 2009

C: My Paxil costs $40. That is a lot of F-ing money!

S: So does my Lexapro! Being sane is expensive.

C: Tell me about it.

On discontinuing therapy, cont’d.
August 3, 2009

S: I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever be happy with a stable life.

C: Too bad you can’t Sunshine of the Spotless Mind yourself.

S: The problem is that the heart remembers even if the mind doesn’t. Or so the movie says.

C: But you kinda sacrificed a big portion of your life that a lot of people use to go crazy and become tired of that, and then they want stability.

S: So I just bounce back and forth between crazy and stability. Awesome.

C: Well, I don’t know. I’m not an expert, and you fired yours. Dear S, Are you sure you should have fired your expert? XOXO, C.

S: When I asked my counselor if she really thought I was healed, she was like, well, it’s a lifelong process. Which I think is a nice way of saying NO.

C: Orrrr a nice way of saying, “Shit. I have no idea. I just feel bad for taking your money at this point.”

On coping mechanisms and perfection.
July 31, 2009

C: I don’t really want to talk about my personal life. My personal life is only funny when it’s depressing.

S:  So when it’s not depressing, you get depressed?

C: Yeah, I guess so. I’ve spent so much of my life deflecting with humor that when I don’t have things to deflect it gets…boring.

S:  Hilarious. I’m loving this irony. This rain is so awesome, I want it to never stop.

C: Ugh, why do you like rain so much?? I love sunnnn. I think that’s why I’ve been…off.

S: I don’t know why I like it.  I just do. Maybe it fits my melancholic personality better; makes me feel more me.

C: I don’t see you as melancholy.

S: Really?

C: Yeah, you’re so giggly. Bad stuff has happened, but you’re still upbeat.

S: Maybe it’s all a front, like your humor. That’s why we’re perfect together! Our coping mechanisms complement each other.

C: Hmm, maybe.

S: You make jokes about horrible stuff, and I laugh my ass off about it.

C: But I’m not giving you anything to laugh at. Maybe my life would be more interesting if I watched something besides Sex and the City?

S: TV definitely does not make a person interesting. Unless it’s Mad Men, of course.