Archive for the ‘Literature’ Category

On showing off.
September 9, 2009

S: Check this out: http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html. This makes zero sense. It says English-language novels, but Lolita’s on it.

C: Lolita is an English language book.

S: What! Nabokov is a Russian! Did he write it in English?

C: I know. He has an EXPERT knowledge of languages. And he wants you to know it when you read the book too.

S: Wow. I never knew! I always figured Lolita was translated from the Russian.

C: Nope, it takes place in America and everything!

S: What! So weird. What a show-off, that Nabokov.

C: I KNOW! That’s why I have problems!!

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On poetry readings.
September 3, 2009

S: You gotta get loose and let the words wash over you. It was like acid, but without all the pesky tripping.

C: S, I need to tell you something. I’m with the establishment. I use words to get points across, not to trip.

S: That’s okay, I guess. We can be like the odd couple.

C: I’m Felix.

S: I’m Balki!

C: Um…they aren’t the odd couple.

S: Oh. What show is that?

C: They are Perfect Strangers.

S: Perfect Strangers!

On publishers.
August 4, 2009

C: Have you read “Eat, Pray, Love”? It sounds stupid.

S: Yeah, I read it. I actually really liked it. The writer obviously thinks she’s the most hilarious person ever, which pissed me off. But it has lots of good stuff in there.

C: Before I knew what it was, I saw an obviously anorexic girl at my old apartment gym reading it, and I thought, “Wow, that’s a guide for anorexics. Pray so that you don’t have to eat and you will love your body. Apparently that is NOT what it is about, but I’ve still held tight to that thought.

S: It’s about a lady who decides she doesn’t want to be married anymore at the age of 30, goes through a nasty divorce, and then gets paid by her publisher to go on an awesome spiritual journey.

C: Well how do you get a publisher? Is that another word for dad?

S: I need an m-fing publisher. Which is also to say I need an m-fing dad.