Author Archive

On new outfits.
September 29, 2009

S: Are you painting your nails for tonight?

C: um…no…why?

S: Well, you’re buying a new outfit and calling it a date! I don’t think the question is silly!

C: I LIKE NEW OUTFITS!

On google reader.
September 29, 2009

S: K, I unsubscribed tfln from my google reader. They were blowing up my reader inbox.  If I really wanna read what dipshit drunks do, I’ll go to the damn website.

C: I don’t use google reader……..

S: It’s really great, and makes reading blogs a lot easier.

C: Yeah, but I like making reading blogs harder so that it takes up more time.

On volunteerism and aging.
September 29, 2009

S: I don’t want to live 100 years unless I still have my mind and most of my body all 100 of those years; and lots of money.

C: LOOOTTTSSSSS of money, and I don’t have to hang out with other old people unless they are funny and talk about real things and don’t shit themselves.

S: and you want to volunteer at a nursing home.

On making it through.
September 29, 2009

C: Ok, I understand hating jobs, but if you haven’t worked ANYWHERE for more than 6 months…really??

S: Yeah, 6 months is about the amount of time it takes to hate any job.

C: Yeah, and then stick with it until you can’t take it anymore…like where you are.

S: Haha, yes, and go on antidepressants in the meantime.  It’s a great plan.

On making new friends.
September 29, 2009

C: Did I tell you that D called me on Saturday and left a message that was like, “by the way, those people weren’t my friends.”

S: lol. She’s hilarious.

C: I really like her.  She could fit in with us.

S: Yeah, we should hang out with her.

C: This is how S2 and I evaluated you.

S: lol. Awesome. I’m glad I passed the test!

C: Well, before we even knew about you we were like, “we need someone to join our group who is like us – on medication to be happier, attends therapy…” and then God sent us you!

On being funny.
August 6, 2009

C:  (talking about a text C sent) Yeah, my best friend said it wasn’t funny. Wa Wa Waaaa.

S:  What?! I thought that was the primary job of the best friend:  laugh at everything best friend says.

C:  Well, no, she provided the truth, but now I know to not trust you…..

S:  Shit.

C:  F! Et Tu Brute?

On dreams.
August 5, 2009

C:  I had a dream last night that I was being chased by Jason from those movies.

S:  Oh no!

C:  Yeah, it was scary.

S:  Did you get away?

C:  Yeah, I think so.

S:  You think so?

C:  Well, I don’t think I died.

S:  I die sometimes in my dreams. I have a lot of those dreams where someone’s chasing me, and sometimes they catch me and kill me.

C:  Really?

S:  Apparently my dream self sucks at running.

On parents and technology.
August 5, 2009

S:  My mom just sent me a “virtual hug” on Facebook.

C:  Oh sweet Lord. Your mom just virtually said she was a homo.

On languages.
August 5, 2009

C:  C’est parfait!

S:  I like that you know French. We are the same!

C:  Yes, well, the public education system has done me a great disservice because 8 years of French still couldn’t make me conversational.

S:  8 years?! Jesus. I think after 8 years the public education system is not to blame.

C: HEY! Yeah…

On coping mechanisms and perfection.
July 31, 2009

C: I don’t really want to talk about my personal life. My personal life is only funny when it’s depressing.

S:  So when it’s not depressing, you get depressed?

C: Yeah, I guess so. I’ve spent so much of my life deflecting with humor that when I don’t have things to deflect it gets…boring.

S:  Hilarious. I’m loving this irony. This rain is so awesome, I want it to never stop.

C: Ugh, why do you like rain so much?? I love sunnnn. I think that’s why I’ve been…off.

S: I don’t know why I like it.  I just do. Maybe it fits my melancholic personality better; makes me feel more me.

C: I don’t see you as melancholy.

S: Really?

C: Yeah, you’re so giggly. Bad stuff has happened, but you’re still upbeat.

S: Maybe it’s all a front, like your humor. That’s why we’re perfect together! Our coping mechanisms complement each other.

C: Hmm, maybe.

S: You make jokes about horrible stuff, and I laugh my ass off about it.

C: But I’m not giving you anything to laugh at. Maybe my life would be more interesting if I watched something besides Sex and the City?

S: TV definitely does not make a person interesting. Unless it’s Mad Men, of course.