Archive for September, 2009

On new outfits.
September 29, 2009

S: Are you painting your nails for tonight?

C: um…no…why?

S: Well, you’re buying a new outfit and calling it a date! I don’t think the question is silly!

C: I LIKE NEW OUTFITS!

Advertisements

On google reader.
September 29, 2009

S: K, I unsubscribed tfln from my google reader. They were blowing up my reader inbox.  If I really wanna read what dipshit drunks do, I’ll go to the damn website.

C: I don’t use google reader……..

S: It’s really great, and makes reading blogs a lot easier.

C: Yeah, but I like making reading blogs harder so that it takes up more time.

On volunteerism and aging.
September 29, 2009

S: I don’t want to live 100 years unless I still have my mind and most of my body all 100 of those years; and lots of money.

C: LOOOTTTSSSSS of money, and I don’t have to hang out with other old people unless they are funny and talk about real things and don’t shit themselves.

S: and you want to volunteer at a nursing home.

On making it through.
September 29, 2009

C: Ok, I understand hating jobs, but if you haven’t worked ANYWHERE for more than 6 months…really??

S: Yeah, 6 months is about the amount of time it takes to hate any job.

C: Yeah, and then stick with it until you can’t take it anymore…like where you are.

S: Haha, yes, and go on antidepressants in the meantime.  It’s a great plan.

On making new friends.
September 29, 2009

C: Did I tell you that D called me on Saturday and left a message that was like, “by the way, those people weren’t my friends.”

S: lol. She’s hilarious.

C: I really like her.  She could fit in with us.

S: Yeah, we should hang out with her.

C: This is how S2 and I evaluated you.

S: lol. Awesome. I’m glad I passed the test!

C: Well, before we even knew about you we were like, “we need someone to join our group who is like us – on medication to be happier, attends therapy…” and then God sent us you!

On incest.
September 23, 2009

C: Did you hear that Mackenzie Phillips had an incestuous consensual relationship with her dad?

S: Whoa, what? Who’s Mackenzie Phillips? And is her dad Don Draper?

On intelligence.
September 22, 2009

C: “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” – Hemingway

S: Fuck. I’m doomed.

C: Eh, you’re not that smart.

On complications.
September 21, 2009

C: OMFG. My life is muy complicated-o.

S: Oh, gosh. No it’s not.

C: Oh yeah. I always forget who I’m talking to.

On work governments.
September 21, 2009

C: Are you not allowed to take your lunch hour whenever? That’s totally gay.

S: Nope, not when my boss is here.

C: That is like a socialist state.

S: Dictatorship. You forget how liberal I am.

C:  Fine, it’s fascist.

S: Okay, that works.

On Don Draper.
September 21, 2009

S: I wish Don Draper were my daddy.

C: Me too, but only if he molests me.