On new joobs.

me: Ugh. The first second I put on my glasses and began reading an ad, my head began to hurt. I neeeeeed a newwwwww jooooooob. I would actually prefer that that “job” is pronounced “joob.”

C: So you could make a poem that rhymes with boob?

S: Well, actually, I liked that “new” and “joob” rhymed.

C: No, newb and joob rhyme. Some English major you are.

S: Oh, blah, near-rhyme. ASSONANCE.

C: You’re An ASSonance.

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