On being out of shape.

C: I gained some L-Bs this weekend. It’s pretty bad.

S: What! Not possible. I will tell you you are lying tonight.

C: No, seriously. It’s possible. It’s happened. And I’ve gained so much weight that it’s hard for me to breathe. That’s right, I am sputtering to walk a few steps.

S: That’s why smoking is useful–you can blame your poor fitness on your lungs, not your fat.
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